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GETTING AHEAD D e p a r t m e n t o f H u m a n S e r v i c e s The Smart Family Brochure is funded by the Division of Family Assistance, Temporary Assistance for Needy Families THE ROUGH TIMES Sibling Rivalry When coming home with a new baby let daddy carry the baby so mommy can give hugs. Teach the older sibling how to help. Plan some time with the older child alone. Temper Tantrum The most important thing to teach the child is that you won’t tolerate that behavior. Immediately put the child in a safe timeout area with no attention. When the child calms down re­ward the compliance. Never cooperate or bargain with the child during a tantrum. Remember you are the CEO. Stealing Children do not see stealing as a moral choice. “Fortunately, as with lying, early stealing-that is, between the ages of four and six-is almost always simply a childhood phase. The best approach is to make the child pay in some meaningful way for what was stolen. Adolescence adolescence is sometimes spelled t-r-o-u-b-l-e, but you grew up and so will they. Tell yourself, “This too shall pass.” Do not be intimidated by expres­sions of rage and hatred. You haven’t raised a monster. Holding your ground will teach your teenager that these behaviors are not acceptable in the real world. Do not overreact. Be understanding but stay in total control. Remember, you are the CEO. G O V E R N M E N T O F T H E U . S . V I R G I N I S L A N D S D E P A R T M E N T O F H U M A N S E R V I C E S The Smart Family Brochure D I V I S I O N O F F A M I L Y A S S I S T A N C E Frederiksted Office 4102 Estate Mars Hill Frederiksted St. Croix, Virgin Islands 00840 (340) 772-7100 • St. Thomas Office 1303 Hospital Ground STE 1 St. Thomas, Virgin Islands 00801 (340) 774-0930 Children are like a garden, if you leave it alone, the weeds will grow faster than the plant. You must nurture them by teaching values. Here are some impor­ tant values: • Boundaries Young people need to know what behaviors are acceptable and what are out-of-bounds at home, in the neighborhood, at school, with their peers, and in the community. • Time Too much unstructured free time is bad for the business. Too much TV is even worse. Children need positive, meaningful, and fun things to do and places to go, like the library, sports, karate, music les­ sons, etc. • Positivity Children need to develop positive internal values that guide their decisions in life. Values such as caring, integrity, honesty, responsi­ bility, and a positive attitude don’t happen accidentally; they must be taught and modeled. • Social Skills Manners are not out of style. Children need to respect eld­ers, get along with peers, avoid risky situations, make good decisions, and develop interpersonal skills. You Are The CEO Successful institutions and organiza­tions have a Chief Executive Officer (CEO). You may not be the CEO of K-Mart or American Airlines, but your are a CEO––the CEO of the most important institution––your family. As CEO you have to make important decisions that affect your family and generations to come. This brochure will help you hold one head as a family so you can make good decisions. Your family is a microcosm of the world. What children learn or don’t learn at home will be carried out in the world. So make sure they learn the Three W’s: • Worship Whether you read Holy scriptures, devotional literature, pray, or attend or­ganized services, do it as a family. Developing faith in children early is one of the most important executive decisions you will make. • Work Good employees and entrepreneurs begin at home. Everyone in the family establish­ ment should work. De­veloping a good work ethic early is im­portant. • Wealth Teach children the value of money. Don’t just give, let them earn and buy for themselves. The key to intelligence is reading. It’s never too early to begin reading. In fact, the sooner the better. Begin by read­ing to your baby. Not only do babies love the cuddle time while being read to by Mom or Dad, children who are read to score higher on IQ tests than those who aren’t––partly because children who, are read to are exposed to more words. It is very important to have children read aloud. It is also very important to have dads read to children. If you are not sure about a good book, check out the Read-­Aloud Handbook. It includes invaluable booklists and read­ing suggestions for children of all ages. • Have a Learning Hour A period of time about half an hour to an hour each evening that’s set apart for homework. This will get rid of the famous line, “I don’t have any homework.” Keep the TV and other media off and don’t allow friends over during that time. IT’S ALL ABOUT VALUES A CULTURE OF G O V E R N M E N T O F T H E U . S . V I R G I N I S L A N D S D E P A R T M E N T O F H U M A N S E R V I C E S D I V I S I O N O F F A M I L Y A S S I S T A N C E